Up the Gills or down the Gills?

The Shouting Ben on the year ahead at Priestfield

This month our Gills columnist Ben Hopkins has gazed into his crystal ball to look at the year to come. His semi-educated conclusion? That predictions are just glorified guesswork. Here’s what may or may not happen at Priestfield in the coming months.

January 6: Sheffied United in the FA Cup

For us lower-league types, FA Cup fever inspires some crazy delirium. Even though they’re struggling in the Premier League, Sheffield United are three divisions higher, have a budget multiple times bigger, and can fill a bench with international players. And in all likelihood, they’ll comfortably, if not necessarily easily, eliminate Gills from the cup. But somehow there’s still the belief that we can conquer Sheffield United. Maybe the Gills raise their game and the expensive opposition wilts in the face of fan intimidation and underdog intensity. I’ll also accept a dubiously earned last-minute winner.

Until February 1: New signings?

The transfer window is open and the squad still feels a little imbalanced. The elusive quest for a consistent goal scorer remains on, and a right-sided wing-back or wide-midfielder would definitely be a bonus. I’d be surprised to see Gillingham complete one of the more expensive possibilities banded about by fans, but could see both positions being fulfilled by a more economic alternative: most likely by either a promising youngster or a previously proven League Two player who is currently struggling to make an impact at a higher level. January is a tough time to make such an impactful signing, though.

Until February 1: Exit through the club shop

For the first time in years, the Gillingham squad has strength in depth and new signings would surely make more players surplus to requirements. Lewis Walker has barely had a chance this season and would need a Spinal Tap-style succession of misfortunes to change that, so expect him to drop a division. Veteran midfielder Shaun Williams has only made fleeting FA Cup appearances since Stephen Clemence was appointed first-team coach so could well be moving on, and 40-year-old goalkeeper Glenn Morris may want some games in the hope of landing a contract somewhere next season.

A new striker would surely mean one of the regulars departing too. I really can’t decide who that should be. Tom Nichols would be a great partner for a poacher, Olly Hawkins has the physicality to be awkward to play against, we surely haven’t seen the best of Macauley Bonne, and Ashley Nadesan hasn’t had much of a run since a strong start to his Gills career early in the season. They probably all just need the right partner to prosper.

Until April 27: A play-off charge?

Clemence and his assistant Robbie Stockdale’s 1-0 wins over Sutton and Colchester with goals from Scott Malone have provided a springboard for the future after an erratic start which veered from exciting (3-1 at home to Salford) to dismal (3-1 away to Tranmere) via the surreal (a 1-0 win versus Wimbledon after a long stoppage for a power cut).

Statistically, the odds are against making the play-offs. The team’s current points-per-game extended over the season as a whole would fall a little short, and the goals situation isn’t healthy either -  no team is ever going to get promoted with an average of fewer than a goal scored each game, even if the defence somehow acquires Pulis and Stannard levels of impenetrability. And yet we’re just a point outside the play-offs, so maybe anything is possible - especially as the different standards of teams currently between 6th and 15th seem so minimal. 

May: The play-offs?

Finish somewhere between fourth and seventh and the Gills qualify for the play-offs, a nerve-wracking, fingernail-chomping, hair-pulling, pacing-around-the-prison-yard experience in which four teams of very similar quality compete for the final promotion spot. Successfully navigate a two-legged semi and a grand day out awaits with the final at Wembley.

Gills haven’t made the play-offs since 2009 so this could be a first chance for many to experience the rollercoaster. The lows are terrible: awful penalties, Nicky Weaver having a curtain haircut five years behind the times, the existence of Mark Halsey. The highs are amazing: celebrating on the pitch at home to Rochdale, Simeon Jackson sending the fans into raptures, and Andy Thomson forever earning the freedom of the Med. I feel anxious just typing about it.  

Summer: More musical chairs?

If the Clemdale duo can keep Gills in the hunt for a play-off spot until the end, they’ll surely remain in charge next season too. I wouldn’t be so certain of their long-term security, though, if they somehow sink into the lower half of the table and the final home game versus Doncaster feels like a glorified friendly.

There have been murmurs of discontent of late against Kenny Jackett (Director of Football) and Andy Hessenthaler (Head of Recruitment), and their prospects are intertwined with Clemdale’s. Relative success by the club as a whole will allow the focus to fall on their strengths, primarily identifying and recruiting two key young players, Shadrach Ogie and Ethan Coleman, for relatively little outlay and the possibility that Jayden Clarke may well match them in time. Failure, however, and the squad’s lack of cohesion and the slow-motion move to replace Neil Harris will count against them. 

Summer: Como chameleon

After seemingly years of pre-season friendlies being no more exciting than a trip to Dover or a visit from QPR, Gillingham’s Como adventure was something to remember. While pre-match pints in Bar Pino are surely off the agenda this season, hopefully something just as escapist can be arranged for this summer. I’m sure a few hundred Gills fans will be excited for another European voyage. 

August: A new hope

The one thing we can predict with certainty is that whatever happens, it all starts again towards the end of summer. I’d much prefer a League One match at QPR to the possibility of a first-ever League Two fixture against Bromley or Solihull Moors. But the future’s not ours to see…

Footnotes

At any one time, Ben Hopkins is usually busy writing words and stuff, trying to stop his cat eating everything, drinking stouts and sours, or referencing Gills, Withnail and Peep Show entirely out of context.

This month he has mostly been resting his ears by listening to Quickly Kevin and Uncanny.