“I prefer to be the grit in the system”

What Steven asked Shea Coffey, co-founder of Medway Pride Radio

For today’s Sunday interview, Steven sat down with Shea Coffey. Shea is an advisor to companies on trans issues and co-founder of Medway Pride Radio. They met at the Nucleus Arts’ shed to have tea and discuss what brought them to Medway, the importance of representation, and the work of Medway Pride as we approach the main event at Rochester Castle next week

Shea Coffey

Where were you born?
I was born in Wimbledon. Not a traditional Medwayite.

What jobs did your parents do growing up?
My dad was a labourer, a hard-drinking Irishman, and that was the only career he would ever have had at the time. My mother was a bank teller.

How did you find school and university?
Hated it, absolutely hated it. I knew from five that I was transgender. We didn't have a word for it back then, but I knew that there was something. I was put into an all-boys school to ‘toughen me up’, which didn't work and was hell on earth. I actually hated school and attended as little as possible. I didn't go to university. I actually left England when I was 16.

To go where?
I spent some time in Spain and I ended up spending a couple of years in New York working.

What did you do in Spain?
I worked for nightclubs in various guises. But that eventually took me to New York to work at a place called Limelight.

How did you end up in the Medway Towns?
House prices! We were spending nearly two grand a month living in London and at that time, seven years ago, you could buy a house down here for £160,000, so it seemed like a no-brainer.

What is your official occupation?
I suppose it’s ‘manager of a community radio station’, although I don't get paid for it, so is it an occupation? I'm very fortunate in that my wife has a good job so I'm able to indulge at the moment in charity and community work.

What additional roles, paid or unpaid, do you do?
I'm a director of Trans in the City. I'm an advisor for the Met Police. I wear various hats in various guises, advising companies and organisations on LGBT, particularly trans issues, so I'm kept busy.

What does your role with the Met entail?
I’m an advisor there on their trans group, and we meet every month to talk about trans inclusion within the Met Police, but also if particular issues come up around trans people, within the confines of London crime or London organisations. We advise on those where possible, where needed.

What is Trans in the City?
It is a group that essentially promotes trans inclusion in business in London, so, a wider field than that, but mainly in London and we speak with most of the major organisations essentially. Anybody that wants to talk about trans inclusion, we deliver training and are there for answering questions.

What does the average day entail?
There is absolutely no average day. I can be on the radio one morning and in the afternoon I will be taking meetings, and in the evening, it might be the time with my kids, or it may be I have to go out and attend some sort of function. Other days it will be a complete down day, when I can actually answer emails and things like that. I suppose part of the beauty of having so many hats are that no two days are the same and you get a lot of variety, which is really good.

Where do you like to go for dinner in Medway?
Oh, I love the food at Cafe Nucleus, but for a really good dinner out, Poco Loco. The Mexican bar-style food they do there, it's just wonderful and it's a very LGBT-friendly place. Which sadly is something you have to consider these days.

What has been the biggest improvement to Medway in the time you have been here?
I'm honestly going to say Pride. I think we have a large LGBT community here, and we have issues in reflecting it. We have issues in people seeing it, and if you don't see yourself represented, you don't get involved in things. So I think Pride is being a vital game-changer for the local LGBT community.

You’ve had issues with fake social media profiles?
I get that a lot. I think if you are going to get into the environment of advocacy for LGBT, but particularly for trans, you get attacked a lot. I've had in the last year lots and lots of issues. I've been attacked frequently, and I get fake profiles put up. I've been doxed, which is where someone puts your address online. I was at a keynote speech in March, and while it wasn't a secret, the fact I was going to be there was put online the day before, and I came out to find Patriotic Alternative waiting to say hello, which was a little bit of a shock. If you're going to be an advocate, probably for anything, but particularly right now because of the way people feel about trans, you get attacked a lot. Just nasty stuff. We've had to put cameras on my house. My kids have been threatened, my wife's been threatened, I've had numerous rape and death threats. What we are trying to talk about here is trying to improve the health care for trans people, the acceptance of trans people, and some people go off the deep end.

Why were you protesting outside Halling Baptist Church?
I was handed a leaflet about 10 days before and Halling (Baptist Church) had a gentleman from Christian Concern come down to give a talk entitled ‘The LGBTQIA+ community and the sexualization of children’. That is essentially a slur. It is playing on tropes from 40 years ago that because you're gay, you're going to interfere with children, you are a paedophile, you are a danger to kids, and people genuinely in the LGBT community get physically hurt. They get assaulted because they are “a danger to kids.” When we actually look around, we see those people who are convicted of child molestation are rarely gay. They are usually upstanding members of the community. I did ask for the advert to be changed and I got no response whatsoever, so we decided we would turn up on the night and we would set up a refreshment stall, and we would hand out free Kool-Aid, because obviously, they're drinking the Kool-Aid. To be fair, they were very tolerant of us. I don't think we saw eye to eye at all, but should we need to go back and protest again, we absolutely will. We just asked the LGBT community if anybody wanted to turn up, and I think we had 25-30 people show up, not necessarily linked to the radio station, or even linked to Pride. Some of them were people of the village who didn't appreciate that way of putting things.

Is this an issue that is unique to Halling, or an issue you have come across Medway?
It's not unique to Halling, but it's not across Medway. It is a wider issue. There is lots of talk about the banning of conversion therapy and Baptist churches tend to be places where conversion therapy happens, calling openly that they pray the gay away. They had no problem admitting that to us. They had no problem admitting that kids are taken onto retreats, and that's very worrying. There needs to be a complete ban from the government, that includes consent and includes religious exemptions so that conversion therapy is not allowed to happen anymore.

How can we improve LGBT+ awareness in Medway?
The problem is very simple. We have a large community here of LGBT people. It's very large, and there are some organisations who are on board and they're aware that they have people who are LGBT, either working for them or using their services. We work with them, and their names come up again and again like Gillingham Street Angels, Wisdom Hospice, Nucleus Arts, Club Auesome. The problem exists at a higher level than that. There isn’t LGBT representation. Vince Maple has hit the ground running with the change of council and they flew the Pride flag this year, but if you don't see yourself reflected, you won't engage, and there is a very strong layer of white cis straight middle-aged male that runs through the institutions in Medway, and they don't necessarily represent everybody. I hear all the time that “LGBT are a very hard minority to reach.” No, they are not. It’s very hard for LGBT to reach out further than that because they're not reflected. People just aren't aware. The Dockyard this year did their first ever LGBT training, and it went really well. Some people were really really positive about it. It just makes it easier for LGBT people to access the Dockyard, or access things everybody else takes a granted. There are sometimes access issues, and it's not just the LGBT minority. It's all minorities we should be inclusive for.

We are an independent news organisation, what should we be doing in terms of raising awareness?
This is the start, isn't it? You know to talk to LGBT people and engage. Sadly it was announced after the elections that the Conservatives are going to be weaponising small boats, trans people, and crime. I thought trans people had already been weaponised. How much worse can it get? Unfortunately, there are going to be issues in the next year, in the run-up to an election, and they need to be highlighted. It needs to be called out when it's not right and not fair, and when it's not honest. You need to keep calling these things out. You need to educate and arm yourself on a range of issues, not just LGBT.

What is Medway Pride CIC?
It's a not-for-profit Community Interest Company that is essentially how we organise and fund Medway Pride, which is probably the fastest-growing pride in Kent. It's almost a year-long project for one day. We literally finish, write the reports we need to write, and then we start again (laughs).

How did you come to be involved with Medway Pride?
I met Hillary Cooke when I went for some electrolysis and Hillary is an amazing force of nature who doesn't take no for an answer. At the first Medway Pride, I was still at Trans Radio, and I did an interview for them and Hillary and I became fast friends.

You say for one day, but isn’t Pride from the 14^th to the 19^th?
Yes, Hillary came up with that idea. We have an issue around how many people we can get into a physical space, and there are sadly a lot more people than we can fit, so Hillary came up with the idea of a fringe pride. So, businesses and organisations who wish to, can get involved and host events that people who maybe can’t get to Pride, for whatever reason, or do and want more can go along to it. It’s really taken off. I think there's something like 30 events. There are some businesses in Medway who are just super supportive of the whole idea. A lot of it is centred in Intra, which is essentially the gay heart of Medway, but we are working hard to engage other organisations. Last year the Dockyard had an event. This year there are a couple of pubs that are outside of the Intra area. There are some things happening at Chatham Library, so there are options of things across the age range to get involved in and hopefully it will grow year on year to see more of Medway get involved.

What is Medway Pride Radio?
When the radio project came up, I wrote Hillary a really long letter as to why it wasn't a good idea. A really long email, and then I made the mistake of ‘but if you were to do it, this is what you should do.’ Radio stations are notoriously difficult to keep going. It requires a lot of tenacity, it requires a lot of volunteers, it requires a lot of hard work because essentially you are building on people's goodwill, and for something that works 24/7, that's an awful lot of goodwill. So, I did write a long e-mail saying why it wasn't a good idea and how hard it would be, and then said but if you were to engage the community and you were to do social events and talk about things and not just be another Gaydio with six Donna Summer tracks. We have shows that talk about all sorts of topics. We’ve done teen suicide, domestic violence, coercive control, and a show for ladies to talk about the menopause. We do poetry, comedy, music occasionally, and we campaign on issues as well. Medway Pride Radio will be announcing its first scholarship where we will pay complete costs for a year for a disadvantaged or underprivileged young person to go to Spotlites Theatre School. We will pay for all of it. Go to medwayprideradio.co.uk and we will be there.

What are the Medway Pride Awards?
We came up with the idea probably about this time last year. There are some people in Medway who go genuinely above and beyond anything that the LGBT community should expect. Sadly, the LGBT community does get massively overlooked. I know we hear about it in the press all the time, but you don't see the representation. If I went out to the High Street, you wouldn't see a representation of me, or of the LGBT community. So those businesses and people who do work really hard to be inclusive should be recognised and we decided that it was time that we recognised how fantastic Medway can be. We organised the awards as a celebration during Pride Month.

We’ve mentioned Poco Loco, is there anyone else who's been a recent Pride Award winner that you would like to take this opportunity to mention?
They're all amazing. We had Sharon Jackson who won because she has been the most wonderful ally the last couple of years. Nick Ashton, who is a Nucleus Arts artist. He runs a doodle and draw group on Saturday at Chatham Library. He had more votes than anybody this year. He does an amazing job. He makes everybody feel welcome regardless of sexual identity or gender identity. People just come along, and they sit down and the kids get involved in drawing and chatting. He's been absolutely amazing but genuinely all the award winners were more than worthy.

What is the Trans Teen Survival Guide?
It is a book that we have offered free to secondary schools and libraries across the UK this year. There is a very polarising debate around trans issues and the people who are getting caught up most in this are young trans people who possibly don't have the language or the understanding of what they're going through themselves. They might not have supportive parents, they might not have supportive schools, they might not have a safety network around them to keep them safe. The Trans Teen Survival Guide was written by Owl and Fox Fisher and is literally everything a young person would need to know if they are transgender. There is even a section there for parents, and a glossary for language so that things can be broken down into bite-sized pieces. It's a way of engaging in conversation, that is really positive, and we have seen schools that have taken it, libraries have taken it. It's really helped kids, and there are a lot of trans kids out there who need help right now.

You say it's free, but someone must have paid for it at some point.
The publisher has been very kind and given us a discount, and we've been fundraising with various events, from comedy nights to Twitch streams. One of our DJs raised £1100 on the Twitch stream last month. It is all paid for by fundraising. There is no other way of doing it. It even gets posted out to schools for free. It is, from the end-users point of view, completely free. There's a lot of people working very hard to pay for these. We will have put somewhere in the region of 1200 copies into libraries and schools across the UK by the end of the year.

Have you had any interaction with Medway’s MPs?
(laughs) No, they avoid me. There is one who when we have been at events won’t even say hello, or be photographed in the vicinity. That’s troubling, isn’t it?

What political parties have you been a member of?
I've been tempted on a couple of occasions, but I don't see myself represented in any mainstream politics.  

What party have you considered joining?
The Labour Party, under Tony Blair. I was hopeful that things would improve a little bit more than they actually did. I think we quickly got bogged down in massive issues, Iraq and things like that.

Who has been the best Prime Minister of your lifetime?
That’s a race to the bottom. (pauses) Of my lifetime? I want to say Gordon Brown. I think he had the right idea. I think he, unfortunately, came with a lot of bad luck. A lot of things seem to go wrong in his very short tenure, but I don't think there's been a particularly great Prime Minister in my lifetime.

What should be the priority of the new Council administration with regard to LGBT+ residents in Medway?
Better reflection, better visibility. It's as simple as that. The flying of the flag seemed like a really small thing, but people phoned the radio station: “The LGBT flag is up, we are driving past the Council offices, and we can see it.” It's really not hard. We are just looking to normalise the fact that there are LGBT people all across Medway. Get on with it.

If someone like yourself, with your profile, with your interest, doesn't join a party and therefore doesn't stand, what are the chances of getting LGBT representation on the council?  
There will be people who are LGBT in these organisations, whether they feel safe to say they are or not is different, and I understand probably better than most what comes with joining a party and what comes with trying to stand for council. I'm an agitator. I’m a very divisive person, as people will tell you online. I can do more outside the system to highlight things than I can inside the system. If I was to join one of the two main parties, I would have to muffle my opinions to a certain extent or I would have to muffle my opinions on various LGBT issues. Sometimes I can create that little bit of grit, so I prefer to be the grit in the system rather than trying to fit into a political headspace that isn't there right now.

What are your future aspirations for Medway Pride?
For the event to get bigger and better really. It's a wonderful day of joy to see families come out. We get an awful lot of families, and they’re with their kids and having a great time and it's a chance to learn about inclusivity and it's a chance to learn about things that are important in life. I think that there were a couple of things that we're looking at as possible maybe next year, but also Hillary has a wonderful team behind her that helped deliver an amazing Pride Fringe and that I think is going to grow and grow, because that's where people get to get involved and help shape what their event should be. Going forward, I think the Pride Fringe will be the thing that really grows. Medway Pride Radio has just ballooned in the last two and a half years. We started with 12 DJs doing 41 hours. We now have a staff of 50 and we go 24/7. We will be involved in more campaigning because that's just where we are going to be. We will be involved in more community work where we can. We will support things on a national level as well. We'll do more of that and we'll just we'll see where it goes and keep making a nuisance of ourselves to organisations that can do better.

Footnotes

This interview has been lightly edited for length and clarity.

You can read our previous interviews here.

If you want to suggest ideas or send tips for people to interview, please email Steven.

Steven Keevil co-founded The Political Medway and still manages to watch hundreds of films a year. He recommends After Yang. Steven listened to no music whilst writing this, but recommends reading Illuminations, by Alan Moore.